An Eternal Supernova


I got a scar
shot by a gigantic star.
Keeping this flaw
As deeper as it can claw.

Getting numb,
Getting dumb.
Scratching the tears,
Repeating for years.

My heart is aching.
My brain stops working.

I’m dying for an hour,
For glaring the famishment,
Tasting bitter and sour.

You cannot tell,
Whether I’m on the hill or in hell.
Since it’d be the same
Since it’d be the same.

I’m bleeding,
I’m bleeding,
I’m bleeding.

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The Analogy of Six


Six is my lucky number
Six is the beginning of this slumber
Six is the month of my dad and sister
Six is the only hope to be better.

Yet, six is another scream of string
Six is how yelling consumed more than smiling
And six is the shape of rotten hearts,

Having no clue what’s the matter of six
Looking up and down just makes me sick
Drowning into the ocean that’s what it licks.

Being six is kind of bitter nor sweet.
Isolating the shame and guilt to feed the devil’s word.
finding a space to sit for a minute.
blowing the strength, blaming the sword.
for cutting the heartbeat we live in,
for slashing the root we faith in.

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The Long Stream


I lay upon the water
contemplate of nothing but a shelter
ah, my reflection!
creaks its own tribulation.

No need a land 
to make you understand 
to be the most captivating human being
is kind of twinging
 I'm incapable, you're extrudable!

The flow draws me from the reality
lets my body droop against its serenity
if you ask me to endure every single struggle
all I can do is giggle or even wiggle.

See, you have no choice.
Accepting is all I wish.

E M B R A CE it. 

Surabaya, July 2018

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Stardust

You're made of a nebula that turned into floating dust
pulled the constellation, walked away in disgust
looked for a cosmic galaxy,
to build a new home, a comet for your fantasy.

When the universe exploded me on the coastal plain,
I tried to grab the trillion miles between your heart and mine
the cosmos felt closer, even hooked in my vein
yet somehow it's inane, the memories just out of my mind. 

The rhythm of the dawn started changing to red
as the shiniest light blended with the dark of night
slowly, your ecstasy drove me mad
reminded me to forget
I wasn't even a knight,
had no sword to fight.

Here I was, stopped by within the dark
dreamed of you I saw the spark
touched it wildly
went along with this absurdity.

Oh, my dearest Stardust,
only the pieces of your name that saved me from the lust.

XX,
-MIP-

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Philomela

To a cold stone.

I see you there
standing in pale despair
gathering the rubbles of shame
that used to be a good frame

You are struggling
to find your intention again
though it will bring
the rotten pain
where affection lives in vain

Laughing
in trembling soul
drowning
by the tears of unfulfilled goal
about more things than one
as the moon and the sun

And so it ends,
can no longer hold the hands
slashed by a rusted knife
that was the precious dust in life

It was not faded
it is indeed faded
cannot tell
for know not well
nothing mean
just killing straight and clean.

To the cold stone,
are you happy being alone?

-MIP-

November 29th, 2017
02.45 a.m. 

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Frasa Fase

Rebas sudah seluruh bulir berharga...
kering
pelupuk
merah membara
rintikan
hitam legam
sekeping daging
tersungkur oleh laungan 
makhluk 
tanpa nurani.

 Menerkam sesuka diri
melindas tanpa belas kasih
o, kebisingan ucapan hewan
lenyap
bersama senyap.

 Duhai makhluk berakar kenihilan
haruskah sigma F sama dengan nol?
diam
pada siapa?
aku berkata kau
kau berkata aku
aku
kau
musnah.

 Kemasygulan ini
menawarkan beragam sayatan
tak beraturan
bertumpuk-tumpuk
bertahun-tahun
berulang-ulang
ah, 
fase yang amat lunyai.

 Lucuti saja
nanti
esok
atau lusa
kecamaran akan pupus
walau harus mengorbankan yang tulus.

—20161203—

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Tabula Rasa




Secarik ‘tabula rasa’ tersimpan rapi
tertimbun tumpukan tak berpenghuni
dikendalikan daya magis nurani
menorehkan tinta,
melumpuhkan logika.

Apa gerangan kotak mungil itu?
menampung berjuta sorot sinar sendu
lepas bersama renyah tawa sukma
melambung di antara putih biru atap dunia.

Usah kau sedu-sedan,
tak melulu soal perasaan
apa yang kau pikirkan tak harus berselisih dengan keadaan
pagi kau caci, malam kau hakimi
panas kau umpat, hujan kau laknat
kau sama sepertiku, tak pernah memuji nikmat
yang ada hanya kalimat menyayat.

Detik ini ia bersiap pergi
bukan karena benci atau tak tahu diri
“ruanganku sudah terpenuhi,” katanya
ia tak akan kembali
walau hanya mampir untuk basa-basi.

Pada sembilan malam, empat sepuluh enambelas

—mIp—

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